Externalities: Week of 4/26/10

Superheroes fight crime and save lives. But by doing so they impose certain costs on people not directly involved. These are superhero externalities.

Rather than do a separate "externalities" post for each disaster, I thought I might try sharing all of the best ones from the week in a single post.

Here we go:

Uncanny X-Men #523 by Matt Fraction and Terry Dodson, Marvel Comics (2010)

Cable and Hope are on the run from Bastion, a "super-sentinel from the future hellbent on exterminating all mutants." Bastion's goons have tracked the pair of heroes to a little motel and have begun to surround the joint.

The only way out? Heavy destruction of city and personal property, of course.

Wolverine: Weapon X #12 by Jason Aaron and Ron Garney, Marvel Comics (2010)

Hate waiting for the subway? Bet you would hate it even more if the A train was regularly delayed by underground superhuman battles.

Here we have Captain America attempting to escape an army of Deathloks, powerful Terminator-like cyborgs sent back in time from the future to eliminate the superheroes that would one day pose a threat to their reign. The chase leads Cap down into a subway station, where a group of innocent bystanders are trying to get home from work.

Oops.

Ultimate Avengers #6 by Mark Millar and Carlos Pacheco, Marvel Comics (2010)

Ultimate Captain America is not faring much better. Currently, he is using his ship to teleport around the world in search of the evil Red Skull. Too bad his flight skills are getting in the way.

This is, of course, a Mark Millar comic, so there is no shortage of pointless destruction. What's particularly fascinating here is how little Captain America seems to care about this blatant destruction and potential harm of others individuals.

Anything to get the job done, I suppose.

Amazing Spider-Man #628 by Roger Stern and Lee Weeks, Marvel Comics (2010)
Click to See More

Ah, a classic maneuver. During an airborne chase/battle, Spider-Man and Captain Universe crash through the window of a health club, damaging not only the window, but some expensive equipment. And they're not even members!

Interestingly enough, Spider-Man actually recognizes that innocent people might be getting hurt during the battle. Following this episode at the health club, he leads Captain Universe to an abandoned field so that the two could continue fighting, while only imposing minimal damage to third parties. It's nice to see that Spider-Man has a sense about these things, as opposed to, say, Ultimate Captain America.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 #34 by Brad Meltzer and Georges Jeanty,
Dark Horse Comics (2010)
Click to See More: WARNING: SLAYER/VAMPIRE LOVE-MAKING

I saved the best for last. If you're a Buffy fanatic and have not yet heard the identity of Twilight, then you should turn away from this post immediately because here comes the MASSIVE SPOILER. I'm serious.

OK, it's Angel. Buffy and Angel have been reunited at last. The first thing they do, obviously, is have some sex. Sounds innocent enough. Hell, they've done it before and the only result was an evil Angel.

Here's the problem. Buffy has recently been granted extra superhuman powers, which she was able to harness from recently fallen slayers. Meanwhile, Angel is, um, pretty powerful too. Apparently, when two especially powerful beings like Buffy and Angel get it on, the universe reacts. And not in a good way.

Remember the infamous love scene between Superman and Wonder Woman in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again? This is even worse. To balance out the enormous surge of power, the universe has to kill off a bunch of life or energy or something. Honestly, I'm not exactly clear yet what's going on. But Giles was not subtle in saying that Buffy's happiness is uncontroversially bad for the world. Tidal waves. Volcanic eruptions. The works.

That's right. Buffy and Angel want to be happy. The only cost is on the rest of the world. I'd say that's a pretty big externality.